So much has happened since my last update. A lot of fun and a lot of screwed up stuff, car wrecks and the like. I'm tired of telling those stories though. It seems like that's all I've had to do for the passed couple of weeks. Instead I just want to vent a little bit. I love playing music a lot. I like the drums and guitar most, bass is ok too. I really like to record music. I'd love to continue to play in Panty Waste but I cannot stand Pennsylvania for much longer. I am unhappy here, even with everything going right. I have a wonderful girlfriend and I'm in a really fun band and I've got a decent job and I had a decent car. I just can't stay happy with that. I feel depressed and trapped here. I feel unmotivated to go out and do things because it is just so ugly in this town. The people aren't even nice. I can only stand to be around maybe three or four people anymore. SOME of my family that live here are good, most of the family that I am close with live in Florida. I feel like I've got more opportunities in Florida. I feel stuck here and I hate it.

..and nothing to do with Pennsylvania, I feel ugly and fat lately. I wish that didn't bother me. I feel like I want to lose weight, buy new clothes and get a haircut. I wish I didn't feel like this, but I do. I can't help it.

Vacation

I don't have a picture for this post, but that's ok.

It's a short post, I just wanted to write down Kacie and my little vacations plans:

July 2nd - Leftover Crack in Pittsburgh! Coming home and sleep!

July 3rd - Mini road trip to her house in Virginia. Also leaving from D.C. airport to Florida!

July 3rd - 7th - Florida! Spending time with my family and Kacie!

July 7th - Back to Virginia, staying the night with Kacie's family.

July 8th - Leaving Virginia and heading to Pittsburgh, PA for Warped Tour! Going home and sleeping forever.


and then of course, the following weekend we will be having a sleepover. Wonderful!

Camera!

I want to start posting a picture from either the day or few days / weeks between my posts that kind of sums up what I am posting about, or at least something interesting from those days between my posts. I've actually wanted to do this since I started posting in here more frequently, but I didn't have a camera and a cell phone picture just doesn't cut it.

So this picture kind of sums up my weekend. I bought a camera, and spent my weekend with Kacie! My camera I bought is just an entry-level camera and it was relatively cheap because that's all I can really afford right now. I'm pretty happy with the quality of pictures for the price though, and it has a lot of options and little things it does. I am pleased with it.

This weekend was pretty wonderful. Kacie and I had a ton of fun that I don't really need to go into detail about because I will remember it. It's always kind of a bummer to say goodbye on Sundays when she leaves, but at least pretty soon she is staying for good.

Panty Waste had a last minute show tonight and it was pretty lame to say the least. Some of the kids there were into us, most of the kids there were just little girls. It was in a girls backyard and she was having a party at her house. The only real highlight of the night was the free pizza and talking to the girls drunken mother. She was pretty hilarious.

That's all I've really got. Leftover Crack and Florida is coming up soon. I'm excited for both. I seem to have so much going on one week and the next week I've got nothing. I guess that is life.

SICK.

I'm sick of so called friends who are not supportive of anything you do or anything that makes you happy. I'm sick of selfish assholes. I am so grateful for the VERY few friends I have that are supportive of the things that make me truly happy, whether it means moving away from them or some other thing that indirectly effects them in a not-so-wonderful way. It seems that true friends are so much harder to find these days. I remember having the best friends a few years back and they'd support my shit no matter what and I would support theirs. Now it seems like everything is just like what the hell dude I want this, you can't do that. I am not that way to anyone and it makes me so angry and annoyed and upset when people are that way with me. It just reminds me of how right my decision is to move away from here. At the very least if I never find that kind of friend again, I know I'll be in a place I love with people I love and who love me. So forget (most of) you all.

This is directed at no one in particular, really. I guess I have a few people in mind.


P.S. This kind of makes me feel bad because Leigha has been the best kind of friend someone could ask for and she supports me in everything and I don't hang out with her near as much as I should.

I should also mention that Kacie is the most wonderful girlfriend I could ever hope to have and she also supports all my decisions and moves. So thank you both for that, whether you read this or not.

This town is too hot.

Not much to update here.


Kacie is coming up next weekend and I am totally excited. This weekend has been pretty mellow so far, but that's ok because I feel pretty crappy.

In about a month I am going with her to see Leftover Crack and the Casualties, which will be fun I think. The morning after that we are driving to Virginia and flying out of D.C. to Florida to spend a few days doing fun things with my family. I am very very excited for that and I hope she likes my family. I know they will like her and I know we will have fun.

Other than that, I guess there isn't much to say. My car is almost paid off and so is my laptop, less than two months for each of them. Then I'll just have insurance and rent until I leave. Then I won't have bills, just the burden of figuring out what to do with my life and how to do it! I guess I can't really call that a burden, I feel pretty lucky to be able to figure it out for myself and have an opportunity to do it where I really want to do it. I am in no rush, however, because not to sound totally bummer-like ..because I don't want this to come off that way at all ....we all die someday! So I figure I'll figure out things and learn things and do things at my own pace so I can be happy with everything being just the way I want it to be.


I guess I'm a little strange. That's ok. (:

Sharing what I've got

I feel like not many people read this or maybe they don't even know it exists. That's really OK with me, I don't mind if people do or do not read.


I feel overwhelmed with things right now. Not always, though. It's hard to explain but I only feel overwhelmed about things for a couple of minutes and then I figure out solutions to everything I worry about in my head, and then I am relaxed again. This is an all day sort of thing and I don't really know what to make of it. I wouldn't say it's a bad thing or a good thing ..it's just a thing.

This past weekend was wonderful and exciting, this coming weekend I don't believe anything is going on. I could be completely wrong but I'm not sure. The weekend after that will be wonderful. Kacie is coming and I think we have a show to play. I love playing music. I'll miss this band when I move to Florida.

Speaking of Florida; Kacie and I are flying there (tentatively) at the end of June. That's going to be exciting. I think she'll really like my family and I think they'll really like her.


I wish I had something really cool to post about the things I've been doing or something about myself or that I've done something really productive or magical or amazing, but I don't. I'm just living and having fun for the most part. I guess that's pretty amazing these days, to just live and have fun. I feel like I should be doing more than that.

Party in Bethlehem!

Again, not posting in here as much as I'd like. But here goes;

Last night was the Bethlehem Panty Waste show. We stopped at the mall first to eat Pizza and saw Amy which was cool. We left kind of late but then about half way there we stopped for drinks and got off a wrong exit and added a whole hour to the trip there. I kind of felt like a jerk showing up after everyone in all the other bands had already played but it was really out of our hands. I think we played pretty wonderfully and I think the kids were really into us. We played for what seemed like a pretty long while. It was in a small cafe with maybe 3 small tables, a counter that had this nice, (dare I say?) indie-looking lady standing behind it who gave us waters for free because we traveled so far and there was another couch on the other side with a table in front of it. The walls were blue and there was only a few small lights and a big flower painted on the wall. It was really nice.

After the show in Bethlehem we loaded our stuff and found Alex and road to his house in Emmaus with him. He showed us the sleeping arrangements in his garage and then a bunch of kids showed up for a party ....in his garage. I just wanted to sleep and not party but since they wanted to party we kind of parted ways and found this nice little diner with good food for really cheap. By the time we were done eating and messing around at about 3am the party was over and we went back to Alex's house. Alex and Tyler were the only ones left and we all layed down and Tyler read us a bedtime story hahaha, how nice. The wright brothers.

We all woke up at about 8:30 and said thanks and bye to Alex and hit the road. Probably the most funny / fun roadtrip I've been on. I felt like I was constantly laughing to the point of not being able to breathe for the whole 3 hour trip.


That's about it up until now. I was totally beat all day, so I slept all day. I finally got a shower just now and I still feel pretty tired.

Next weekend Kacie comes and I am really excited to see her again. I feel like we haven't been talking as much as we usually do / as much as I'd like to, but I know that there are going to be times that we both have stuff going on and we'll talk as much as possible while that stuff is going on and it all will be totally fine. I love our relationships and I hope that it maintains this level of excitement, trust / everything else for a long time. It's great. (:

Success!

The trip to and from Florida was successful. I did not die and had a great time.

I don't feel like making a long detailed post, so I'll keep it short.


Full Sail was an amazing school and is a total possibility. I am going to look into several more schools before I commit to one. Florida is just the same as I left it; beautiful. It just seems like a totally mellow, sit down and relax kind of place. The weather is nice, the people are nice ..I just love Florida. Seeing the family was really nice. They are all excited for me to come back again and so am I. It sucks to be back in Pennsylvania, but knowing that I will soon be getting out of here makes it all totally ok. Airports are a lot of fun, airport food is fantastic, making friends in airports is fun and long layovers are fine with me.

Great!


P.S. Kacie is also fantastic. I feel closer to her than ever and I hope she does too. I'm totally excited to see her this weekend and I am totally excited in general to be able to call her my girlfriend. I brag about her pretty often. How couldn't I?

Leaving Altoona

I don't post in here as much as I'd like. I'll probably start every post I make with that, which probably won't be as many as I'd like.


Things are going pretty great as of 11:42 AM April 18th, 2009. That could probably change from hour to hour or minute to minute or day to day, but for now I am happy with everything.

I'm heading to Florida in less than a week, for less than a week, to visit Full Sail and see my family and hopefully I'll even get to see an old friend or two. I'm really excited for this and I'm also really excited / nervous for the airport and plane ride. I've been in them / on them before, I've just never done it all alone. I'm not so excited for the plane ride back. Whenever I go out of town and come back into Altoona, I hate the feeling that I get. I hate Altoona. I can imagine that the feeling I get coming back from a place I love with people I love to a place I hate with people I can tolerate (I do love some of you.) will be much worse than going out of town. It's not that big of a deal though, I won't be here that long.

Things with Kacie are going great. I've always pondered the idea of dating her and how it would be for either of us and if she'd ever want to and if I'd ever want to, ever since started having (moderately) serious conversations however many years ago that was. I guess I never really knew what to expect, but it is really great. She's nice and treats me right and is really thoughtful and a babe and cute and weird and goofy and funny. I really appreciate all of that a lot more than it probably seems sometimes. I have trouble showing that kind of thing sometimes, but I'm sure she gets it. She gets everything else.

Work is ok. I like the people I work with for the most part. There is some drama going on, I guess it never really stops after high school, the issues just get more (or seem more, rather) serious. Just like in high school, I don't pay attention to it or care about it in the least. I'm just doing what I have to do to make it until Summer and make it until I leave this town. I'll be ok then.


That's all I really care to write about. Nothing else really exciting. Panty Waste has another show coming up in Allentown again, and I'm excited because those kids are really cool. It's nice to see that at least there is something going on somewhere.

Startng Over

I deleted all of my old posts. It wasn't that many and I kind of feel like starting this whole thing over.

I guess I don't really have a lot to say, anyway. I'm pretty happy today. I haven't done anything at all today besides give Sara a ride to work. We are going out to Denny's after she gets off. I'm pretty excited, we haven't hung out all week.

Work is annoying, but I've been toughing it out and not calling off all week! Gotta save money!

My mood changes from hour to hour. I am generally happy. I am excited about life. I am spending time doing absolutely nothing and at the same time I feel like this is a really important part of my life. By "doing nothing", I really only mean that I am doing nothing technically "productive" towards my life. I am perfectly fine with that. I am in no rush to grow up, go to work, come home and repeat. While I'll reach that part of my life soon enough, I don't know why society makes that the acceptable lifestyle to live. I will never understand graduating high school and going straight into college and going straight from college into a career and a family and what is ultimately the "final stage" of life before you get old and die.

I want to do things and see things and experience things. I don't want to experience 13 years of school, followed by 4 years of college, then followed by 50 more years of a career.

I do, however, want to go to school. That is what I'm doing. I'm spending time goofing off now until I pay off my car and the rest of my small amount of bills that I've got now. After I do that, I'm heading to school. At least it is a school I want teaching me to do what I really want in a place that I really love. So, anyone can say what they want about what I'm doing but I finally know that this is the right thing for me to do.

I know no one will probably read this and I know it's sort of all over the place and not very organized and probably kind of long, but ya know ...whatev.